A Father's Journal
by writinginmyjeans
Summary: "Because darling, you are the most precious thing in the world and while I don't deserve to have you and your Mama, I am too selfish a man to let the both of you go." Dantana, Lucy Messer and mentions of the other members of the CSI family! - ON HIATUS
1. Greater Good

**A/N: I just watched the 'Greater Good' and I can't help but love the team's and Dantana's love for Lucy. Therefore, I decided to come up with this story. **

**Timeline for this chapter: Set right after the birth of Lucy Messer in 'Greater Good'.**

* * *

My dearest baby girl,

You're only a few hours old now and you're still pink the face but baby girl, I have never seen a more beautiful baby than you. I'm not being biased, Lucy, you really are the most beautiful girl in the world. Well, after your Mama, of course, because nobody can be as beautiful as her but you do come a very close second.

I have never been this happy in my life, Lucy, and I have you to thank for that. Your presence is the proof of the love your mother and I will forever share. The three of us are going to a great family, baby girl. You know why? Because the love your Mama and I have for you is undying and we'll always be there for you. We can't promise you we won't screw up as parents, Lucy, but what we can promise you is a lifetime of love and a home you will have always have a place in no matter how much trouble you're in.

As I watched you being passed around from your Uncle Don to Uncle Sheldon and your Uncle Adam and Aunt Stella are cooing over you and as they joke about how you're going to be a heartbreaker when you grow up while your Uncle Mac and Mama just roll their eyes just now, I have just realized that you would be the most loved girl in the world and that if anything does happen to me or your Mama, which I pray everyday that it won't, I know that you will be in good hands. I have never seen you Papa Mac look at anyone the way he looks at you, Luce. You already have him wrapped around your tiny fingers.

Writing about you, your Mama and our lab family makes me feel so much better, bay girl. Do you know that just a few hours ago, I was worried that your Mama might give birth to twins? I know, silly old Daddy, right? One thing I fear the most, Lucy, is that I'll fail as your father. Because darling, you are the most precious thing in the world and while I don't deserve to have you and your Mama, I am too selfish a man to let the both of you go.

Your Mama's about to wake up, Luce, and I can't have her finding this journal. This journal will only be meant for the two of us, alright? It'll be our father-daughter thing.

I love you, baby girl. Forever and always.

Love,  
Your Daddy

P.S. Your Aunts and Uncles were joking about how you were going to break many hearts. They're right, baby girl, because you're going to break their hearts by not going on any dates with any of them. Not until you're forty.

* * *

A**/N: Should I continue? Please review! It's my first story so please be nice!**


	2. Grounds for Deception

**A/N: I just watched the 'Greater Good' and I can't help but love the team's and Dantana's love for Lucy. Therefore, I decided to come up with this story. This story is originally in supposed to be in Danny's point of view only and I am keeping it that way. However, for those of you who want to read Lindsay's point of view, do read A Mother's Journal posted to my account. :D**

**My most special thank you to nciscsinyluver, whitelighter013 and afrozenheart412 for your awesome reviews! Thank you so much!**

**Timeline for this chapter: Set right after the Lucy's first day in the lab on 'Grounds for Deception'.**

* * *

My beautiful Lucy,

Today was the first time your Mama and I brought you to our lab, a.k.a. our second home. As you grow up Lucy, you'll start to notice that your parents spend almost as much time in the lab as we do at home. What you need to know, Lucy, is that no matter how much time me and Mummy spends in the lab, we'll always have time for you. Because you've been our number one priority since the day we found out about you (your mother before me) and you always will be.

I got to say, baby girl, you are a riot. The lab assistants fell in love with you and I even had to buzz off a few men (cough – Blake – cough) because there will only be one man in your life, Lucy, and that man is me. No other guy will love you as much as I do, Lucy. Never forget that.

Aww man, Luce! Look what you've done to me! You've turned me into a sentimental old man! Your Mama was already half way through and now you completed her job. I'm going to have to watch out when you start to talk and your Mama and you can start devising plans to get back at me for whatever I may have done. Oh, your Uncle Don is going to love that.

Okay, Luce. So I know I may have told you that I love you the most but I can tell you two other men in your life who can come a close second. Those two people will be your Papa Mac and your Uncle Don.

Like I said in my previous entry, baby girl, your Papa Mac has never looked at anyone with such love and adoration. Your Papa Mac had the love of his life taken away from him so cruelly that sometimes you might ask yourself why such a thing would happen to such a nice person. The reality, Lucy, is that sometimes, life puts us through certain tests. I can proudly say that your godfather overcame it with such strength that I've always wanted to be like him since the day I met him. Well, minus his monotone voice and lack of emotions sometimes, of course.

Your Uncle Don has been one of my closest friends for a very long time. He, baby girl, will be the one who will let you get away with anything and sometimes, he might even plan the tricks you are going to play on a lot of people in the future. Because that's just the way your Uncle Don is, baby. He's tough on the outside and when he's doing his job but when he's with you, he gushes and coos and your Mama warmed me that she found out that he has big plans for you. I shudder to think what those big plans are, baby girl, considering he has been waiting to get back at me for constantly teasing him about his relationship with your Aunt Jess.

What can I say, baby? You're my daughter. That and the fact that you're going to have your Mama's brains, Papa Mac's wits and Auntie Stella's cunningness, I have a feeling you're going to be the cause of every grey hair your Mama and I are going to have. But I wouldn't have it any other way, Lucy.

I want to tell you more about the other members of our lab family, baby girl, but you and your Mama reach home in five minutes and I can't risk your Mama reading this since this is out special thing. Plus, I haven't got your pee stain from this morning off the carpet. You are a piece of work, Lucy Messer.

And I wouldn't have it any other way because I love you for that. Forever and always.

Always yours,  
Your father

P.S. Aww Luce! Out of all places in the house, why did you have to pee on the carpet? When you're old enough to clean your room and your Mama starts nagging you to do it, we'll see who's laughing then, shall we, Missy Lucy?

* * *

**A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! Also be sure to check out 'A Mother's Journal'!**


	3. Pay Up

**A/N: Thank you once again to afrozanheart412 for your kind words and reviews.**

**Timeline: Set during 'Pay Up' after they've solved the case but before the shooting.**

* * *

14 May 2009

Dear Lucy,

As I write in this entry for you, my hands are trembling, as the events that have happened today are finally catching up to me. I'm sure that by now, you've recognized the date on this entry. My dear angel, today is the day our department lost a brave and brilliant officer, and your mother and I lost a great friend. Your Aunt Jessica Angell left us a few hours ago and I still haven't wrapped my head around the idea of her being gone from our lives forever. It's going to take a while, baby girl, before all of us are going to be okay.

Reading through my previous entry just makes me want me want to hold you and your Mama forever more as I think about the future your Uncle Don and Aunt Jess could have had because they really cared about each other a lot. Your Aunt Jess was a strong and beautiful woman. She was not one to be messed with and I should know because I've seen her in action. Having grown up with four brothers must have made her real tough, baby girl, because there were times when even your brave Uncle Don was scared shitless of her. Excuse my cursing, baby girl.

Your Aunt Jess was killed in the line of duty, Lucy, and I am proud to say that she didn't go down without a fight. Your Uncle Don is going to be going through a rough time and I have a feeling that me, your Mama, Papa Mac and Aunt Stella are going to be very worried about him. We may even have to cover up for him for a while in the near future. And even if we're risking our jobs to do it, we'll do it, Luce, because that's what friends and family are for. I know he'd do the same for me.

Your Uncle Don just doesn't understand that your Aunt Jess would want him to be happy yet. He will, eventually. Your Uncle Don may be the sharpest tool in the shed during a homicide, Lucy, but he's a wreck and an emotional mess off duty.

You know, Lucy. As I think about how your Aunt Jess got taken away from us cruelly and all troubles your Mama and I have gotten into because we're crime scene investigators, I wondered (not for the first time) earlier today what I'm doing putting my life on the line each day when I know that no matter how many murderers we've put behind bars, there are still so much more out there. And the thanks that we receive are the end of our lives? And I scared myself thinking, "What would have happened to my two angels if I'd been killed?" By the end of it all, I was ready to quit being a CSI.

But then, Lucy, we got word of the location of the animals who were responsible for the death of your Aunt Jess. And after catching all of them, I realized how stupid my questions were and how obvious the answers had always been. The reason I'm putting my life on the line as a CSI each day is because with every case solved, is another one less murderer out there. And you're safer from one less person. Yes, baby girl, there will be so many more cases in the future and I know I'm going to freak out more with every case with the thought of never coming home to you and your Mama. My dear angel, should anything happen to me, I know you'll always be in good hands.

I love you, baby girl. Always.

Love,  
Your Daddy

P.S. The reason I'm fighting each day, in case you haven't caught on yet, is you and your Mama, Luce. Always.

* * *

A/N: Review! Please!


	4. Epilogue

**A/N: The usual thanks to afrozenheart412 for never failing to review. I always look forward to yours. :) **

**Timeline: Set after the flashback scenes in "Epilogue".  
**

* * *

To my light in my time of darkness, Lucy Messer,

As I wait for you and your Mama to fetch me from this hell hole that I've spent two weeks in, I just can't stop the never-ending questions that keep popping into my head no matter how hard I try to get rid of them. Am I ever going to walk again? Will my job as a CSI be affected by my new disability? Will I be a burden to my wife because I can't walk? Will I be able to bring you to the park and carry my little angel on my shoulders while we run around and have fun? Will I be rolling down the aisle beside you instead of walking on your wedding day?

I'm sure that by the time you read this entry, you would have known about it whether I'm still on a wheelchair or not. I can only hope and pray, baby girl, that by the time you're reading this, you wouldn't be able to remember a time when you've seen your Daddy in a wheelchair because he got injured.

You're not going to hear your Daddy admit this often, Luce, but I'm scared. I'm terrified of the prospect of only being able to work in the lab and not on the field. I'm terrified of burdening your Mama and you by having to depend on the two of you too much like shouting or yelling for you to fetch something that's out of my reach. I'm horrified, Lucy, that I may not be able to be like any other Dads who make their daughters feel happy and loved by bringing them to the park, chasing away boys and then beating up said boys for hurting their angels. What if I can't do these things for you, baby girl?

Your Papa Mac and Aunt Stella came by the other day and they have so much faith in me that I can't help but feel touched. They have the same look in their eyes like your Mama does that shows that they know that everything is going to be okay. That we'd catch the bustards who did this to me and then I'd be able to walk again. But Luce, that only happens in the movies. I mean, I'm sure your Papa Mac and the rest of the family are going to find the culprits but how will finding them help me walk again? The damage is already done.

I'm also going to admit something else, Lucy. I lied to your Mama. I told her that I had a sixty percent chance of walking again when the truth is that I've only got ten. I didn't want her to worry but I don't think I can keep this away from her for too long. She is, after all, Lindsay Messer, and baby girl, your Mama always knows everything eventually.

To be honest, Lucy, she was the only thing on my mind when the gun shots rang out. I had to make sure she was covered so that she wouldn't get hurt. I couldn't think of anyone or anything else but your Mama. And in that process, I lost the feelings in my legs but I would do what I did a thousand times over if it meant that your mother is safe and protected from any danger.

On the final note of this entry, I just want you to know, baby girl, that the one reason I am going to try my hardest to walk again is because of you. I love you, Lucy Messer, with all my heart and nothing can make me love you any lesser than I already do. My love for you, my sweet daughter, grows everyday and if I can't chase down those boys and beat them up, I will run over them with my wheelchair.

I love you, Lucy Messer. I'm very sure you know that.

Always your Protector,  
Your Daddy

P.S. I'm not kidding about running those boys over, Lucy. Nobody hurts one of my two favorite girls in the world whom I love too much and gets away with it.

* * *

**A/N: How is it? Please Review! And do check out my other upcoming journal, A Daughter's Journal. **


End file.
